this first entry was written last thursday on the 26th of febs:

Nerves…
Im writing a speech for my friend’s wedding…. *shudder!*

Yes…. No… actually I think its just the cool weather today that has made me get the chills!

But yeah, nerves…

I suppose its just public speaking, I haven’t done this since uni, which was…. Omg, 2ish, 3 years ago… YIKES…. Realisation of my age, more like how its catching up on me and that that’s a quick few years!

Anyway, public speaking…. Why OH why am I getting butterflies NOW?

Well, I’m glad to say that when it comes to crunch time, I will be confident. No, read that again, I WILL be confidento! Fingers crossed, no guarantees… I hope the mic will work, wont squeal on me or do anything funny.

Im glad to say that I will be ok… just thinking about it. WHY do u think abt it?! Thinking about it is half the problem, if not the majority that is getting me gittery… damn you brain!!!

Prepping for a wedding, eek, trying to beautify myself…. Gotta shave my legs…. Not that its that obvious, but you still want to try!

I was looking for a good strapless bra, DAMN you shops! I found a GOOD one, as recommended by a friend, except they didn’t have the skin-coloured ones…. Daaaaang…… so I got a black one :p Luckily for me, its not like it’s a sheer colour dress, I tried it on this arvo, and seemed to be ok, not that you’d noticed what colour bra I’d be wearing. But I will be taking precautions that mean using double sided fashion tape to tape the dress to the bra so no slips to take place. But it’s a nice dress, its like a strapless, except its got a halter, except the halter isn’t like a normal halter, its more so a strapless top with two bits coming from the edge. Its nice, its really pretty, by pilgrim… I really really like it the more and more I look at it! EXCEPT the one thing I have a bit of a snip about, is ME! MY FATTY ARMPIT AREA! I don’t know how to describe it, and it does explain why I don’t wear strapless tops and I need the vertical straps of any kind of tops on me. Basically, where the halter bit starts on either side of my arms, when I put my arms forward, such as holding a bouquet of flowers, I have hams on either side of me! Its because of the halter, and I have excess fat on me!!!! *WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH*

No, im not particularly fat, and NO the dress isn’t small, its my size! Its just my friggin’ arms and the awkwardness of the halter bits…. Arrrggghhh…

Im sure I will post a photo when they come out, but hopefully
*sniff* I will be able to contain myself on the day, literally! ARGH… damness….

That’s the ONLY dilemma I have… besides having to wake up SUPER doooper early to get to her place at 4am! Omg…. Thank B for sending me, or going to! Because that is Friggin EARLY! Which means, i’d prob give myself like 20mins to get there…. Argh……… ARGH, ARGh…. It will be a LONNNNGG ASSS day! 4am to….10 or 12midnight which is like…. Approx. at most 20 hours straight!!!! And that’s not including time I would get up OR time I would get home and shower and sleep! EEEEEK!

Anyway back to it!!!! Procrastination is such a distraction….



****this entry was written last wednesday on the 25th of febbers:

What is with the weather these days?

Rain in Perth when last weekend it was stinking hot and humid? Well, we are on the brink of Autumn, but I suppose I’m just use to having a late summer in our given times… I’ve only been to the beach once all this summer… argh… here comes the cold, windy rainy weather!

I suppose I don’t mind winter, only because I’m not sweaty, and then theres the BO problem, not my BO of course, strangers. In enclosed spaces, such as buses, trains, lifts, just public areas, even lining up in a queue.

Something that’s happened… I have more time! Think of it as a holiday with no pay… Yes, I am a victim of the terrible economic crisis… damn you USA! Ok, I don’t really directly blame the States, but the point is, they started it…

Oh well… so what now? Perfect timing huh… Mum’s here… for a short while, so I *suppose* it’s a good thing I’m not working… not that I have much of a choice. But I have been job hunting, and fixing up my resuming, thinking a lot about my future.

I always thought, well, this year being the year of the Ox, it’s my year! Well, not really having that much expectation, but you know, something to look forward to, for some kind of hope or something. But it’s been very much the opposite, but that’s not to say that it’s dampened my spirits or anything, it’s more so the fact that why now?

I guess there are no real explanations why things happen. They just happen… and when they do, it’s about how it’s dealt with.

It’s the whole equilibrium theory I have. All about balance. On one hand, I see one of my friends, she’s doing really well, she inspires me a lot (but then again, all the people in my life do!) but I mean in a sense that she makes things happen, and I know she’s a hard worker. It’s my inspiration and proof that if you really want something, do your best to achieve it.

Then the other side, that’s me. I mean what’s happening in the current situation, about my job. It’s not what I want to do for the rest of my life. I’m a tad bit flippy floppy fish with my decision on my career choices… and well… I’m kinda at the point in my life where the path splits. But its not like a life changing decision or anything, just an opportunity I suppose.

It kinda sucks that we haven’t gone to the UK as planned… as mentioned, the whole global thing has affected everywhere, and the job market in the UK don’t look as peachy. Although I have heard that a lot of people are still going over there and good for them!

Doesn’t mean that idea isn’t scratched off the list, it’s more like, slightly postponed, and the idea of working there, perhaps delayed… We’re planning on just travelling, simple holiday. I guess I can start planning some trips as well on my break! Research places and prices and little nick nack things like that.

Total change of topic, omg my dear dear friend is getting hitched this weekend! WOOT! And I am honoured to be one of her bridesmaids!!! Shout out to our friend C, omg, SUCKS majorly that you couldn’t make it, but it totally doesn’t matter course you’re doing what’s important for you and I hope you’re enjoying yourself!

I can’t believe the date has come! I still have to prepare my speech! O__o Won’t be too bad, because I think…. All except the bride, groom and my date, I will have NO IDEA who they are!!! Chances of me knowing someone there, no iiideaaa…. I feel like it will be low, but then you never know, because Perth is somewhat “small” as people say! I will probably recognise someone who is like a friend of a friend of a friend! But yeah…. Crapness time flies!

Man, just thinking about that, how time really flies… it’s faster than you think! I remember being a child and being at primary school and complaining how slow time was, and I wished the year would just hurry up! Now it’s like, there’s just not enough time for you that you need to just do things for yourself! It’s just like when you’re a child, you have to responsibilities, you do as you like here and there, creating things, playing games. I remember being at a friend’s place, playing, jumping on the trampoline and it was time when mum came to pick me up and I’d be like “5 more minutes please!!” five minutes was quick, and how easily you get frustrated and annoyed that you couldn’t do what you wanted.

Now that you’re all grown up, it’s like, you get to do things you want, but its just that there’s not enough time to do everything you want.

Time management! Even when you do organised yourself, or should I say Myself, I never seem to get everything I want done. So what does that lead to?

Priority.

You can only do what HAS to be done… argh… I still have a blank canvas in my room and heaps and heaps of mediums to use. But I just don’t have the time to do what I’d LIKE to do…

Even blogging… I just don’t! End of the day, I’m to tired, to lazy… it’s not like I’m a famous blogger… I do admire that though, the people who blog like EVERY day! Omg, dedication, but that’s their passion. Its not to say im not passionate about it, but then I just think I’m not that techno-gizmo, uploading nice background and music and photos! Im getting slow at it! Oh how embarrassing the realisation of your aging… BUT never fear! Its all in the mind. I don’t feel old, but I know I am slowing down a little bit…

And that is basically it… it for now! Don’t know what else to say or do, so I shall be off! Toodles.